And incidentally I haven't posted a thing since..forever ago.
My life has changed so drastically after December 21. My father told me and my brothers to leave the house by then because mum had gotten custody of us and so we did, we vanished, quite literally into the night. Took all we could carry, and using only a dinky car and mum's friend's car, we moved out of that house and into our new one. Which is, ironically, a temporary house.

I can say that I have only few friends I see on a regular basis, and friends I wish I could meet more often like Diana but I can't. I don't like texting or IM-ing much, I like meeting and talking and having fun. School has started already and I think I could do well this semester if I put my mind to it.

soon...hopefully by then I'll get all my photos in order. No outfit shots since it's Johor and all I ever wear are skinnes and hooides. haha.

NEED:

New house
money

WANT:

new boyfriend

“The Day The Saucers Came” by Neil Gaiman

That Day, the saucers landed. Hundreds of them, golden,
Silent, coming down from the sky like great snowflakes,
And the people of Earth stood and
stared as they descended,
Waiting, dry-mouthed, to find out what waited inside for us
And none of us knowing if we would be here tomorrow
But you didn’t notice because

That day, the day the saucers came, by some some coincidence,
Was the day that the graves gave up their dead
And the zombies pushed up through soft earth
or erupted, shambling and dull-eyed, unstoppable,
Came towards us, the living, and we screamed and ran,
But you did not notice this because

On the saucer day, which was zombie day, it was
Ragnarok also, and the television screens showed us
A ship built of dead-men’s nails, a serpent, a wolf,
All bigger than the mind could hold,
and the cameraman could
Not get far enough away, and then the Gods came out
But you did not see them coming because

On the saucer-zombie-battling-gods
day the floodgates broke
And each of us was engulfed by genies and sprites
Offering us wishes and wonders and eternities
And charm and cleverness and true
brave hearts and pots of gold
While giants feefofummed across
the land and killer bees,
But you had no idea of any of this because

That day, the saucer day, the zombie day
The Ragnarok and fairies day,
the day the great winds came
And snows and the cities turned to crystal, the day
All plants died, plastics dissolved, the day the
Computers turned, the screens telling
us we would obey, the day
Angels, drunk and muddled, stumbled from the bars,
And all the bells of London were sounded, the day
Animals spoke to us in Assyrian, the Yeti day,
The fluttering capes and arrival of
the Time Machine day,
You didn’t notice any of this because
you were sitting in your room, not doing anything
not even reading, not really, just
looking at your telephone,
wondering if I was going to call.

A wish list and some rambling:
( CUTTED IS A PRONOUN....LIKE SRSLY MAN )

okay, so somehow our internet is down and im updating from the bugis macdonalds and my fingers are freezing and i'm going off soon love you f-list and lurkers

ps things are better nao i think though still depressing and sad but there's always a silver lining byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ALSO

GO HERE

HERE
HERE


HERE

HERE

YAY

from lonnnggggg ago, June maybe?

( cut cut cut cut cut )

I've never been as broke as I have been now that I can't even afford a $3 t-shirt. I'm terrified to contact anyone on my class list (since I'm really close to maybe 3 of them) because I think I'm starting to annoy them and I don't know why I'm so sensitive. I'm so sick of feeling this way, of feeling torn between going back to mum's and staying here in Yishun(at dad's) because I really need to get work done and I can't because I feel like the loneliness is starting to crush my soul and I can't really stand things much anymore.

I'm falling behind with schoolwork and I'm really just not doing as great as I'd hoped and I wish I'd just suck it up and move on with things. I think today's been the first in forever that I've been online and sat down to post and entry but that doesn't really matter because I've only got one week left to do two months worth of schoolwork. Nothing seems to be going right for me, but that may just be the depression talking.


My world just continues to shrink, it really does. First I lose Azri, then I lose Ash, and now I think I feel like I'm losing Asvind too. I feel like I could really use a hug right about now.

My life is stressful enough already without having to think about the extra non-important things.

I hate the anon writers that keep bawwing about originality, about how bitchy lolis are on comms. Let's face it, we're a bunch of girls in frills. Girls are bitchy by nature. So wtf. We're all frilly and look equally silly in our frills. so why the hate? Like. ARGH IM SICK OF "OH THERE IS NO ORIGINALITY IN LOLITA, BAWWWW". Call a fucking whammmbulance. I don't like uber sweet either but do you ragging on those that do? Like really. If they wanna wear "clone" outfits or just like things in a set, let them. I've come to this point of stage in my life when I really don't give a fuck about what these mats and minahs are in, if they think I look stupid in my frills (but honestly, they look equally dumb in their shit) so hayyy. Whatever.


What's the point of lolita? To look cute. So if you look cute, you look cute. There. At face value, that's what lolita is about. To look cute. I can say it till I'm blue in the face, but I think people still won't get it and think EH LOLITAS ARE DRAMA QUEENS/BITCHES/ELITISTS/FISHMONGERS. Brand, no brand. Just wear stuff that makes you feel happy, period.


I can't even think straight anymore because life is getting messier than I like. I think ultimately I will have to break with with Ash somehow, and doing it over texting is not the answer. Because I think I'm finally realizing that this just won't work. No matter what we want, I have a feeling we'll be the kind of couple that went through hell and back only to not end up together. And I think I'm fine with that. I don't really know where my mum is, and somehow I'm going to have to figure out how to manage my social awkwardness and do the group projects and shit.


At least I can say I was never bored with life.

And I'm updating from my uncle's computer over in JB. It's pretty alright so far - I spend most of my days laughing (and eating =.=) and sleeping here, and the family over here is pretty awesome. I eat plenty, sleep plenty and laugh way too much. There's a cat that comes by my aunt's house all the time, and we call it Kitty. Original, I know. I miss wearing rori, I really do. I'm stuck in skinny jeans most of the time, but it's alright. School will start up pretty soon.

KNN ANIS

AND KNN EXCHANGE RATE

HOW COULD YOU MISS IT??????????
IT'S PINK

AND


P O L K A D O T T E D

WA LAU.



on the other hand, today was awesemmm.♥

When our conversation degenerates and becomes nothing more than spiteful comments that don't mean a thing.

There's a limit to this, and you've just crossed it.

I fucking told you ; never, EVER piss me off.

You know why now, don't you?








That's because I'll fucking break you.

Pink Dot was awesome beyond all reason, and I made a new friend;cellardoorsky ! She's so awesome..and cute. Hah.


Maybe a proper post when I don't feel so bogged down.

On a another less bright note, I just have to wonder.

Am I really such a difficult person to love? =/

from andrea-



lololololololololololololol